What you need in your friendships changes with age, and over time. It starts to look different, but it changes so slowly you really don’t even notice it. A lot has changed for me over the past few years...
I have become very self – aware. I have found out how resilient and adaptable I am. I have allowed myself to be vulnerable and open. All of which is in huge part to the people I surround myself with. My closest friends are my family. They are the people who stand beside me, push me forward, and sometimes…hold me up. They give me the things I need the most, in ways I never expected.
You choose the people you surround yourself with. You decide what you need. We are all human, we all need a few main things from our tribe...
They drop what they are doing. They check in, as many times as they need to. They listen while you talk. They ask you the tough questions. The ones you know the answers to... somewhere in there, and they let you talk it out and get there on your own. No judgement, only love. They have only your best interest at heart, which means what is best for you, not them. And they will let you figure that out too, as frustrating as that is for them. They hold space. Which is a big, beautiful, and a rare thing.
They get excited for you. They volunteer their time, hands, space, car, wine...whatever you need for whatever you are doing. They send you “you’ve got this girl” texts, motivational quotes (we all love them, don’t lie), and lists of ideas. And? They get on your ass. To get it done. They tell it to you straight- with love....and sometimes a hard and fast “get real’. They push you. Especially when you don’t want to be pushed. Because they know that’s when you need it the most. They don’t let you coast, because they know you are wayyyyy better than that. And you are. You just need that reminder.
Do yourself a favor. Surround yourself with people who hold you accountable. To your word. Your actions. Your goals. Those people? Those are the ones you want in your corner. They are the ones who not only celebrate with you, but for you. They genuinely celebrate. Like “girl pop the champagne we are dancing on the table” celebrate. Sometimes we put things off, sometimes we are scared to take a step. These are the people who encourage you to DECLARE what you want, what you need, what you will do. And then? They make sure you do it.
You laugh till you cry over really stupid things, and that probably aren’t even funny. But you do it together. You have the best random afternoon adventures that generally end (or begin!) with a pint (or three) of beer at your fav pub. You share the kind of text messages that make zero sense to anyone else, that you screen shot because they are that good. You pause to dance in the kitchen mid-conversation because, I mean...obviously. The people who will be ridiculous with you, no holds barred and straight up ridiculous. Those are the most refreshing, vibrant people. Keep them- you always, always need more fun in your everyday.
To my tribe- thank you. You kick ass. I love you, big time.